Seasonal Song Parodies

We The Kings Of Internet Are
Oh Little Mall Upon The Hill
Hark The Sound Of Shoppers Shopping
Relatives Are Coming To Town
Merry Crisp Bucks To You
A Christmas Eve Tradition

We The Kings Of Internet Are
(To The Tune Of: "We Three Kings")

We the kings of Internet are
Christmas shopping near and afar
Pointing clicking, ain't it sickening
Don't even need the car

Ohhhhhhh, Ohhhhhhhh

CHORUS	Browse the wonders, browse delights
	Browsing through the next web site
	Gifts we're counting, debts are mounting
	Fed-Ex them overnight

Now the Christmas season is through
Bills for all the gifts now are due
Debts I'm hating payments making
All of the whole year through

Ohhhhhhh, Ohhhhhhhh

CHORUS Browse the wonders, browse delights

Browsing through the next web site

Gifts we're counting, debts are mounting

Fed-Ex them overnight

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Oh Little Mall Upon The Hill
(To The Tune Of: "Oh Little Town Of Bethlehem")

Oh little mall upon the hill,
Now Christmas time is nigh
With shoppers here, and shoppers there
You're bursting at the sides

Yet in thy darkest hour,
The registers still ring
With gifts and toys for girls and boys
We love the cash they bring

Oh little mall cop standing there
An ever watchful eye
Thy silence keep while screaming teems
Of shoppers pass thee by

Yet with the greed and avarice
The shoppers they exude
It makes you weep, that they don't keep
The season's spirit true

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Hark The Sound Of Shoppers Shopping
(To The Tune Of: "Hark The Herald Angels Sing")

Hark! The sound of shoppers shopping
As they pack into the mall
Hear the registers all ringing
Hear the children as they squall

I want this, I want to try it
I want that, please won't you buy it
I want toys and games galore
Gameboy, Pokemon, and more

Hark! The registers all ring
Glory to the cash they bring!

See the sale clerks as they scurry
Wrapping presents as they go
See the shoppers as they hurry
Spending all their hard-earned dough

Barbie dolls and Beanie Babies
Shoppers act like they have rabies
All the Christmas season through
Stores and malls are like a zoo

Hark! The registers all ring
Glory to the cash they bring!

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Relatives Are Coming To Town
(To The Tune Of: "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town")

You'd better watch out
They're gonna drop by
You'll never escape
I,m telling you why
Relatives are coming to town

There's Uncle Jim Bob,
And his 4th or 5th wife
They're bringing ten kids
There's gonna be strife
Relatives are coming to town

They'll come when you are sleeping,
And knock 'til you're awake
They'll eat you out of house and home
So be gone for goodness sake

They're coming tonight
I,m leaving today
Out of the country
Out of the way
Relatives are coming to town

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Merry Crisp Bucks To You
(To The Tune Of: "Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire")

Christmas season's with us once again,
Shoppers pack into the malls.
Pockets are lined with the cash they will spend,
That keeps the store owners enthralled.

Everybody knows
That Pokemon's the rage this year,
Ken and Barbie's still a thrill.
Registers ring as the managers sing,
To hear coins jingling in the till.

They know that Santa's on his way,
So there'll be lots of toys and goodies sold today.
And every little child is going to cry,
'Til Playstation his parents for him buy.

And so to all those greedy stores out there,
Who help to keep our pennies few
Although we may scold you in so many ways,
Merry Crisp-Bucks to you

And still we shop the season through,
They know we're suckers for most anything that's new,
And on New Year's Day we're going to find,
Our yearly budget is really in a bind.

And so to all those greedy stores out there,
Like Macy's, Belks and Penney's too,
As we're skrimping by, you will be living high,
Merry Crisp-Bucks to you

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A Christmas Eve Tradition
(To The Tune Of "Away In A Manger")

"Away up to bed now" the parents advise
"For Santa to see you would not be too wise
No toys would he leave you if bad you have been
So hurry to sleep now as neat as a pin"

It's two in the morning the parents are wired
The toys they have gotten "Some Assembly Required"
Through three pots of coffee no ending is nigh
Their labors continue till dawn's early light

The toys are assembled the parents are dead
They stumble upstairs and collapse into bed
As soon as they drift off to sweet welcome dreams
The children rush in "Merry Christmas!!" they scream

It's ten in the morning the presents are done
The kids run around with their toys having fun
The parents while dozing hear sounds that appall
The children start crying "You mean this is all !?!"

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